Whether it’s Christmas time, Easter time or your summer holidays, if you hate your job then there’s always that dreaded thought at the back of your head.  “Once this is over, I’ll have to go back to work.”  Now to be honest, the vast majority of people don’t look forward to going back to work after their holidays.  But for some people, their intense dislike of their work situation can actually affect the enjoyment of their leisure time. I’ve certainly experienced this.  I’ve had jobs where I was so stressed that I would be worrying about them on a Friday night, just when the weekend had started!  Even when I wasn’t massively stressed, I used to envy those people who loved their jobs.  And there genuinely some people out there who do.  And quite often they seemed to be the ones who were doing really well.

The dread of going back to work was one of the first signs that I had to change career.  I used to work in legal admin and in my 20’s and early 30’s I basically just wanted to live for the weekend.  Work during the week was something to be tolerated, and on the weekend was ‘me’ time when I could have some fun.  I used to like the people I worked with, but the work itself was so dry.  I wasn’t expressing myself at all in what I was doing. And the older I got, the more this became an issue.   I wanted to be myself at work, as well as during my free time.  Why should work be something completely at odds with who I was as a person?

So I took a course in life coaching and found that I loved it.  My coaching work progressed and I decided to specialise in career coaching and now I have developed a niche for career coaching for introverts (see Introvert At Work).  But the memories of my time working in legal admin haven’t gone, so I can remember the feelings of dread coming over me on Easter Monday, when I knew I would be going back to work the next day.

So how do you feel about going back to work after Easter?  Do any of these feelings strike a chord with you?

• You tense up immediately.  You can’t stand the thought of going back.
• You don’t really have any strong feelings.  Work is dull and so are your feelings about it.
• You are obliged to go back to work, but you know deep down you’re meant to do something else.
• You feel fine about it now, but you know when you do actually go back to work that that little inner voice will be telling you that you really should change career to something else.

From my experience, if you do have any of the above feelings, then it's worth investigating them. Those feelings are there for a reason.  If you've spent a long time ignoring them, then why not get them out into the open and take a good look at them.   Who knows.  It might be the first step to something truly exciting and nourishing.  I know I've never regretted making the move from legal admin to career coaching.  And I want to help others look forward to going back to their work, just the same that I do.

I was watching Channel 4 last week and saw this year’s version of the Secret Policeman’s Ball.  Normally the show is based in the UK, but this year it was staged in the US, in New York.  So it was interesting to see which British comedians they would choose to have on the show, as I’m not sure how well known enough some of them would be to be recognised by an American audience.

One of the British comedians chosen was Jimmy Carr.  Now this was interesting for me because I remember seeing Jimmy perform many years ago when he was just starting out.  It was in my local pub “The Catcher In The Rye” in North London.  The pub manager had just introduced comedy nights on Sunday nights and Jimmy was performing at the very first one.  Now I like Jimmy Carr, but I’ll always remember that night as he had a tough old time.  The members of the audience sat next to what passed for a stage were giving him some terrible stick.  I thought he was really funny but they obviously weren’t ‘getting’ his comedy and weren’t afraid to tell him so....in very rude terms!  I also remember when he left the stage he was blushing bright red.  

Now this was about 10 or 11 years ago.  I’ve watched Jimmy’s career get bigger and bigger.  In fact it didn’t seem like 5 minutes after that night in my local pub that he was appearing on television and doing really well.  For me this shows that he must have tremendous amounts of self-belief and persistence to deal with nights like the one I saw.  I know some people might be saying, “Well that was only one night and in the grand scheme of things that’s not much.”  But how many other disappointing nights did he have to endure?  And more to the point, how many people would have the balls to get up on stage in the first place and do stand up comedy?  Let alone endure a night (or maybe several nights) like that one, and still come back for more?

Your attitude isn’t the only ingredient in being successful.  You have to be good at what you do.  Despite the ridiculous comments that Jimmy got from some of the audience that night, it was obvious he was genuinely funny.  But the idea of an overnight success is a myth.  The young performers you see on talent shows such as the X Factor have usually been performing for years, since they were young kids.  This is particularly true when people are changing career.  Despite what people want to hear, career change can take a while.  It might involve taking stepping stones from one career to another, picking up new skills each time, all relevant to the career you eventually want to do.  But if you show a bit of persistence, self-belief and patience, then you can really get some amazing results.  Who knows....in 10 years time you could go from performing in front a huge audience at Madison Square Garden in New York.  You’ll never know unless you give it a try.

I wrote a blog post at the start of the year about New Year’s Resolutions.  How people want to achieve something tangible with their resolutions and how it might be a good idea instead to look at doing something different.  Instead of earning a certain amount of money or losing a certain amount of weight, why not change your personal style?  Have your resolution to be about showing up differently.  Such as being more present with people when you are around them, rather than being lost in a world of thought and not really connecting with them.  The way you go about things, rather than what you are specifically doing.

I feel the same applies to Lent.  People are currently talking about what they’re going to give up for Lent.  But it’s always something tangible, such as giving up eating chocolate, or stopping smoking.  It’s always action orientated.  But why not take a look at giving something else up?  Such as, if you are struggling to find a new job, then how about quitting blaming the economy for your predicament?  Instead of having an extremely negative, pessimistic attitude, how about replacing it with something a bit more positive?

I’m not for one second saying things are easy for people in the current economy.  They are most certainly not.  But you can take responsibility for yourself, for your attitude and for the actions that you take.  And if you carry on blaming others, where exactly is that going to get you?  I speak from personal experience.   I have very much used to blame others for my problems a few years ago.  It was always someone else’s fault.  But when I took back control of my life and responsibility, to be honest it was a blessed relief.  Gone was the internal negative chatter that was constantly swirling around in my mind, making me angry and getting me nowhere.  Of course I still have times where I get upset and frustrated these days....I’m only human!  I just don’t get bogged down in those thoughts and let them dominate my day.  Instead I’m looking for the positive action I can take to rectify the situation.

So if you’re frustrated in your job hunt, then try to take the emotion out of the equation.  Again, I totally understand the tough situation a lot of people are in.  But it’s a problem that needs dealing with and the more time spent bemoaning the situation, then the less time spent taking effective action.  However, I would also couple taking responsibility for the situation with another important attitude – stop beating yourself up!

Even if you are taking all the right actions in looking for a new job, there are no guarantees that you will land one straight away.  You could simply be beaten to the job by someone who is better qualified or a better fit.  You gave your best in the application process and there is nothing more you can do.  So don’t blame it on yourself as if there is something wrong with you!

Having the right attitude can be the starting point for taking the right action.  But instead of deciding on your actions when you’re in a bad state, with a lot of negativity clouding your judgement, you can take a calmer, more considered approach when you’ve calmed down.  I honestly can’t think from my own experience when I made better decisions or took better action when I was upset, angry, frustrated or negative.  So give up the unhelpful outlook for Lent and try out something that will move you forward.